


I Love You

by LetmeliveTM



Series: I Love You [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, BBC Sherlock - Freeform, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, I came up with this at 2am, I suck at tags, M/M, Misunderstandings, My heart hurts after writing this :) - Freeform, The Final Problem, not a lot of comfort tho tbh - Freeform, sherlock s4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26010949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LetmeliveTM/pseuds/LetmeliveTM
Summary: „In your life, my infinite dreams live"- Pablo NerudaWhat if it wasn't Molly Sherlock had to call in The Final Problem? What if it was a certain army doctor that captivated our favourite Sociopath's heart?
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Series: I Love You [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1889092
Comments: 9
Kudos: 56





	I Love You

"A coffin?"  
Sherlock's brow furrowed as he walked into the cold, damp room. The harsh winds from outside were sweeping into the room through a large vent in the ceiling, directly above the neat, polished coffin, sitting innocently on a metal table. The lid was on one end of the room, propped up against the wall and with the front facing away from the two brothers. There was a large TV screen on the opposite side of the room, mounted on the wall and identical to the one to it's right.  
The inside of the coffin was filled with soft linen, snowy white and freshly cleaned, ready to be used.

Sherlock felt Mycroft brush past him to get a closer look at the coffin, his fingers drifting across the smooth surface in search of dust, of which there was none.  
Suddenly, the two screens burst to life, both showing the same image of their sister, Eurus, with a wicked glint in her eyes and her head tilted ever so slightly to the side.  
"I've been waiting for this one" she said, her voice conveying her anticipation as she watched her brothers warily enter the room, "I feel it'll be the most....interesting, of all my tests"  
Sherlock glared at his sister before returning his gaze to the centrepiece, working his words up from where they were lodged in his throat, "Who is it for?"  
Mycroft shot a troubled look at his brother as Eurus' lips curved into a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Sherlock tried not to think of the similarities between that and Moriarty's dead eye smile.

"Oh, come now, Sherlock, use that wonderful mind of yours and figure it out" She said, encouraging but with sinister undertones that sent shivers trembling up Sherlock's spine.  
With a resigned sigh, the detective stepped forward to get a closer look at the coffin, "Well...this coffin is probably for someone around 5'5 or 5'6, most likely a female's then or possibly a shorter male. Not a large family, unattached and practical about death judging by the size and material, nice but cheap, no one around to make it special or they simple would not want that-"

"Yes, yes, that's all well and good, brother mine, but we could just look at the name" Mycroft interrupted, and Sherlock looked up to find his brother standing by the lid, watching him expectantly as his cheeks warmed with mild embarrassment.

"Yes, I suppose that would make sense...." He mumbled, moving toward his brother and flipping the lid over so that the front faced them.  
A simple golden plaque screwed into the light coloured wood glimmered in the dim lighting, engraved with only three words;  
'I Love You'

Sherlock glanced at his brother, who looked less confused than he would've liked. Though he would never admit it out loud, Sherlock found that Mycroft did often prove himself to be the smarter brother to a certain degree and it drove him up the wall in frustration whenever the eldest would withhold information until Sherlock had figured it out for himself. Inconvenient, he had said, to which his brother simply smiled condescendingly and handed him a file.

"So it seems this coffin is for someone who loves you. I assume the list isn't very long" Mycroft says, icy eyes following his brother's movement across the room, back to the coffin.  
Sherlock looked at the soft sheets inside the wooden coffin, 'Someone who loves you'. The Woman flashed briefly in his memory before he dismissed it, she was on the other side of the world at the moment, it would be impossible. Molly's name floated to the forefront of his mind, dangling on a bit of string and bobbing tauntingly before his minds eye, but no, it was a little too wide for her, and her name drifted back to it's little filing cabinet.  
So that only left...

"John..."

"Very good, Sherlock" Eurus' smile had grown predatory in the time it took for Sherlock to come to his conclusion and she reached for her remote. She pressed a button and one of the screens flickered before showing John's living room in his house.  
Sherlock's breath hitched and his eyes widened as he saw John on the sofa, relaxed, with his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles, Rosie cradled in his arms.

"Now this task is fairly simple, but no less fun I assure you" Eurus said, pressing another button and the screen flickered again before the image split into four squares. Three were all different angles of John's living room, and one was a timer, frozen at 3:00. "I have set up John's living room with bombs and they will go off when the timer gets to zero. Your task, is to get your dear little friend to say the code words that will stop the timer and diffuse the bombs" Eurus explained, studying her brother's reactions like she was watching a particularly interesting soap opera.

Sherlock's breathing grew sharp, panicked, and he glanced at Mycroft, who's face had gone ashen and ghostly, "Rosie...you can't-....she's a child" The detective choked out, his hands gripping the rim of the coffin so hard his knuckles began going white.  
Eurus remained indifferent, "All the more reason to get this right" her eyebrows twitched upward into a deceivingly open expression.

Sherlock swallowed the growing lump in his throat and tried to clear his mind, rid himself of his emotions for a while. To save John. To save Rosie. God, Rosie. She wasn't even a full year old yet...

"What do I-...." His eyes trailed to the coffin lid, golden plaque winking derisively at him, "...Oh..." his heart plummeted, crashing to the floor and breaking into thousands of tiny pieces. No...not that, anything but that.

"I also must say that you cannot, in any way, let John know that he is in danger, you must act as though everything is normal" Eurus was raising the remote again, presumably to call John, and Sherlock shared one last look with his brother before nodding once and peeling his fingers from the coffin to stand in front of the TV screen.

The dial up sound echoed in the room and Sherlock could hear John's phone ringing through the TV speakers.  
John shifted slightly, clearly not wanting to move from his spot as he held Rosie closer and leaned his head further back into the sofa.

Sherlock's hands were beginning to shake, he could see John's phone just within arms reach of the man but he wasn't moving. The panic was rising in Sherlock, growing from a wave to tsunami as he wrapped his arms around himself and prayed, possibly for the first time in his life, that John would pick up.

The phone went to voicemail, the robotic female voice getting cut off as Eurus ended the call, "Alright, alright, I suppose we can call one more time" she said, speaking as one might to a group of disappointed children.

The phone began ringing again and John visibly sighed, standing with Rosie still in his arms and, for a moment, for one terrible and horrifying moment, Sherlock thought he was going to go upstairs to escape his insistent phone. But, John picked the phone up and his brow furrowed when he saw Sherlock's contact name. The detective could practically see the different possibilities of why Sherlock was calling John running through the doctor's head as he left the room to take Rosie upstairs.

He answered.

"Sherlock?" John's voice filled the room through the large sound system and an inch of relief cleared a small space in Sherlock's cluttered mind. He picked up, he could do this, it was going to be okay.

"John! I need you to do something very easy for me, uh, without asking why"  
John sighed and paused, the only sound being the soft rustle of bedsheets as John tucked his daughter into her bed. He was quiet for so long that Sherlock almost started to talk again when;  
"I'm not going all the way to Baker Street just to hand you your phone. You're using it now aren't you?" He said, his voice tight and slightly thick from disuse. He was irritated.

"N-No, no, it's not that it's uhm...I just need you to repeat these words exactly" Sherlock said, fighting to keep the fear and panic from his voice as John came back into view on the cameras, rounding the sofa and curling up in one corner.

"What words? Sherlock, I'm not really in the mood for your games-"

"It's not-...it's not like that-"

"Careful, Sherlock" Eurus warned, pressing a button that momentarily filled both screens with the large timer, "Don't want to break the rules and kill poor, ickle Johnny and his precious daughter now, do we?"  
Sherlock swallowed hard, straightening his jacket and closing his eyes for a second to collect his thoughts. He had to do this. Had to.

"John, please repeat these words for me; 'I love you'"  
Silence on the other end.  
John shifted on the sofa and lifted his phone away from his ear to look at it, his throat working as he swallowed and regarded his phone with a hurt face.

"Sherlock I've already said, I'm not in the moo-"

"I know! I know just-....please" Sherlock was getting desperate now and it was showing, the screens briefly switched to Moriarty's face as he made the ticking sounds of a clock before flipping back to Eurus and John. Sherlock heard Mycroft shuffling behind him and tried to keep his focus on the task at hand, "Please. Just. Say it"

John was shaking his head despite thinking they couldn't see him, his face crumpled in pain as his bottom lip trembled minutely, "I c-..." John took a deep, shuddering breath and came back a little stronger, "I can't...Sherlock, I'm sorry"

Sherlock shifted his weight, resisting the urge to wring his hands as the timer ticked by too fast - too fast. Not enough time. Need more time. Need to save John. Rosie. John and Rosie. Oh fuck, oh god -, "Why? Of course you can it's not-" Sherlock swallowed, "It's not like it means anything"

John's face inexplicably darkened and his jaw tightened. He took a deep breath and began picking at a loose thread on the wool blanket draped over the back of the sofa, his hand shaking. "You're a right bastard, you know that?" He said, his voice dangerously quiet as he viciously tugged the thread loose, looping it around his fingers, tying knots and forming shapes, "I'm gonna go, talk to me when y-"

"No! Don't! Please, John, please, just say it!" Sherlock raised his voice, reaching out toward the screen as though John could see him, could see the panic swimming in his eyes and the tremors wracking his outstretched hand.

John exhaled through his teeth and switched position again, planting his feet on the carpet to ground himself and shaking his leg irritably, "Why? Why are you doing this, Sherlock? I can't. You know I can't" He hissed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, perhaps to still his leg.

Sherlock's brow furrowed and he took another moment to empty his mind of intrusive thoughts - what ifs and his taking John for credit - before he spoke again, "No I...why can't y-"

"BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!" John snapped, rocking forward and dragging a hand across his face, coming to cover his mouth while his eyes went shiny with unshed tears.

"....What?" Sherlock stared at the screen, at the man he knew he loved and the pain that coloured his face and plagued body language. He vaguely registered the sharp intake of breath behind him and Eurus' interested face out the corner of his eye.

"It's true, Sherlock" John repeated, his voice quieter now; defeated, "It's true and it's always been true from the very first time I met you"

Sherlock's heart rose to his throat in despair or elation, he couldn't tell anymore, not with it thudding too loud in his ears and sending blood rushing through his body, lighting his nerves on fire and urgency once again made itself known. Get him to say it. You have to.  
"John, I-...." Sherlock sighed, his brain fizzing like static in a whirlwind of emotions and facts and thoughts, "If it's true than say it anyway"

John laughed, though there was no humour behind it, cold and disquieted, "You fucking cock" he was smiling now, though not his usual smile. No, this one was angry, tilted and tight, concealing the storm behind ocean eyes as the waves crashed and winds howled, "Why should I? Give me one reason and I'll say it"

An ultimatum.

This was it, his last chance, there was no point hiding it anymore. All these years, all this time spent pining and hurting and grasping at what little affection he could was all coming to a close.

"Final thirty seconds" Eurus said, her voice like nails on a chalkboard to Sherlock's heavy and foggy mind.  
He glanced at her before taking a deep breath - Say it. Just say and he'll be safe. It's okay. Say. It. Now -, 

"Because I-..." he swallowed, "I-I...." come on, Sherlock, get it together now, "I love you."

John froze. He barely even blinked as he inhaled sharply, "Again....say it again..."

"I love you..." Sherlock said again, this time unable to keep emotion from gripping his throat and making his voice shake.

John was quiet for a moment, chewing on his fingernails as he held the phone closer. He looked like his was mere inches from bursting into tears, his face tight and jaw working as his grit his teeth, biting back the lump threatening to push those tears from his eyes.  
He dropped his hand and closed his eyes with a tired sigh, "I love you too...."

The timer stopped at 0:03, and both Sherlock and Mycroft breathed sighs of relief, tension melting from their shoulders like ice and Sherlock took a step closer to the screen, a tentative, tiny smile tugging on his lips.

"I love you so much, Sherlock...." John said again, unable to stop himself now that he had started and his hands began to shake even more, "Just-"

The call ended and the screen was replaced with Eurus again, an inquisitive smile on her face as she peered at her brother,  
"Fascinating..." She breathed, tilting her head again and taking in the way Sherlock's face fell, darkening into a scowl as he processed what had happened.

"What did you-...bring him back! Call him back! Now! I won, I saved him, you have to let me speak to him!" Sherlock cried, stepping away to pace the length of the room, his steps clumsy and not as measured as they typically were.

Eurus considered the detective with an expression close to pity, "Saved him? You think you saved him?" She asked and Mycroft bowed his head, already having predicted what his sister would say. "There were no bombs in John's house"  
Sherlock stopped abruptly, fists clenching and unclenching, his shoulders tensing and curling slightly inward. No. No, no, no, no, no-

"Why would I be so clumsy? No. You didn't save him, you hurt him, just like you always do. Emotional context, Sherlock, you didn't see logic" Eurus seemed to be getting annoyed now, her voice terse and unforgiving.

Sherlock stayed unmoving.

"Now, pull yourself together, I need you fully alert for the next task. Don't keep me waiting" Eurus said with an air of finality before the screen went dark once again and the brothers were finally alone in the room.

Oh god....what have I done?

**Author's Note:**

> MmMmMm that's some sad shit rite there.  
> I realise this honestly doesn't make sense in this episodes context but- idrc I came up with it at 2am with my crackhead of a friend aight?  
> Lemme know if you want a part 2 about the aftermath 
> 
> Lotta love ~G


End file.
